People seem to be over reacting a lot these days!
As a society we really need to slow down and think about what we are currently doing before we jump into the next idea or problem.
Being aware of yourself can really hurt. It means you have to tell yourself no instead of yes and stay calm when you want to kick someone’s ass. You would never do that though…your too pretty for jail. How can someone with an anger or anxiety problem calm down and why would you want too?
When your anxious or hurt you might over react either verbally or physically because of the natural instincts of flight. vs fight. Most people are either going to run from a situation or fight it out until it cannot be fought any longer. Running from your problems will not fix them and fighting them will leave you exhausted. So what are you going to do?
Being Mindful is being aware of the way you see and react to the world. Our past experiences shape who we are today whether we want to believe that or not. You can shove the past behind you and live like nothing traumatic happened, just remember, runners get tired.
I was bullied a lot at school and the trauma carried into adult hood. As a young adult I realized my life was not progressing forward properly and I did not understand why. One day while I was meditating a thought entered my brain: We are too scared to move. I was so afraid that every person I loved and cared for was judging me from the outside. I was so afraid of embarrassment and being laughed at that I sat still while life passed me by. I was guilty of reacting towards statements that should have been beneficial with a defensive attitude. My heart and mind was contained by a wall and a barbed wire fence. Why risk being hurt at all? It is easier to keep people out. The consequence of this angry energy was the loss of a social life. That was never my intent nor did I even know at the time I was having a defensive aggressive mindset. It was easier to treat every person as if they were a future bully then to simply be myself. It was easier to avoid every situation and appear flawless then face public humiliation. Stuck I was.
Not only did this attitude hurt me but it hurt other people. The bullied one became the bully. It happened so fast I was unaware I had become this way. To me I was normal and doing what I should be doing every day. I did not think I was hurting myself or others until it was almost too late. To move forward in my life I had to realize that when people were laughing around me they were not laughing at me and I was the only one criticizing every little movement I made. I was my own worst bully. My mind was so toxic I would make fun of myself in my head before insults could be thrown from a stranger. If I had not taken the time to slow my mind down and meditate I would not have made the realization that I was too afraid to take action. I could still be stuck in that rut today wondering why I was miserable or worse…I could have committed suicide.
Your situation is not your enemy your attitude is. You will never be able to control every little thing in your life and to think you do is a form of stress. Stress causes inflammation which leads to chronic illness. You have to be willing to step back and look at a situation from a different perspective. Sit outside sometime and watch a bird peck the ground. How does the bird view its surroundings? How does the bird observe you? Being mindful is being aware that every person views the world differently. There really is no right way because every person has a different story which creates different reactions.
To be Mindful you must be patient. It can be difficult to remain silent when you really have something important to say. Especially if it involves the truth or defending yourself. Take a few minutes to pause before you make a decision or speak out loud. You do not know what kind of back ground every person has so treat every person as if they are fragile. Every person carries some kind of pain whether its seen or unseen. They might not know what being mindful is so chances are they are going to over react. Does that person deserve your reaction or should you just brush it off? You can always go back and talk about an issue more when the other person is calm. Its hard to listen anyway if both people are upset. You will never be able to stop yourself from feeling an unpleasant emotion but your reaction to it does not have to be an unpleasant experience.
A mindful body is a healthy body. You can really tell who is mindful and who is not by how they treat they’re bodies. A mindful person is aware of what foods hurt or help them and they choose exercise over watching television all morning. Are you aware of your body? Do you take the time to think about what you are going to eat a few hours before you eat it? Or do you feel hunger and instantly fill your belly? If you growl and grab your going to have problems if you have greasy chips in your cupboard. It is great to have snacks on hand but you want them to be healthy ones! If you have a growl and grab personality do not set yourself up for failure by putting processed quick foods into the freezer! Chop up your favorite vegetables or fruit in the morning before your day starts and put it into a bowl! We really set ourselves up for obesity by not paying attention to what we eat throughout the day.
Do you always feel rushed and is procrastination your thing? If you say your going to do it later your probably not going too. As soon as something needs done deal with it right away! Do not tell your girl friend you will clean your car out later. Clean it out now! Time management is another important part of mindfulness. If you cannot manage your time your probably not dependable. You could be missing out on valuable opportunities because others cannot count on you to be on time and ready to go . If you procrastinate and run late all the time you give off the impression that you do not care. You might care deeply on the inside even if you do not show it on the outside. People will take notice over time if you are consistent and new doors will open up to you. How many tasks do you put to the side for later? Does this ever cause a negative reaction in your life?
Do you have a hard time falling asleep? Skip the sleeping medication! Instead take a half hour before bed to write a list of what you have to do the next day and go over in your mind what is bothering you. Can you fix it this second? No..? Then do not stress about it. Your better off figuring out the solution and sticking with that solution instead of dwelling on it. Sleeping is a natural process we know how to sleep as soon as we are born! Why should you drug yourself to fall asleep when it is instinct? You have it within you to sleep on your own take the time to learn how again. Being mindful of your thought patterns before bed can make or break your sleep. Every night reassure yourself that you did a good job, that you are a good person, and you are loved. Do not let your mind wander to what you are going to do the next day….or go through what if scenarios.
Training yourself to be aware of your thoughts and actions all the time takes time. The worst thing you can do is get mad at yourself if you feel like you could have reacted better to a situation. Remember to take the time to view a situation from the other person’s point of view, to eat healthy, calm your mind before sleep, solve problems as soon as possible, forgive yourself and others for not seeing and reacting to a situation differently, and avoid negative self talk.
Being aware will help you dissolve any problems as quickly as they come and you will be far more graceful then the person who reacts my screaming, crying, yelling, and punching things.