A lot of people are trying to swamp through a crowd full of make up, plastic surgery, fake this, and fake that to find love.
The commercials tell us socializing is surrounded by eating out at your favorite restaurant full of items that look like food and taste like food. Only to leave you wondering the next morning if it was food you really consumed. They also tell us to drink when we socialize. The bar and restaurant is the last place you want to go if you want to meet someone. Most people who are going out to those places are either in a relationship, already meeting up with a group of friends and they are not interested in dating at all, or recovering from a break up and seeking comfort. You do not want to be in the comfort zone.
What is the Comfort Zone? If you are that nice person who always finishes last and cannot stay in a long-term relationship it could be because you fall for people in recovery mode. I am sure you have gone through the routine. You see someone who is down, you sit next to them, listen for hours on end and maybe allow them to cry on your shoulder. Suddenly a connection is formed. You provided that person comfort and they see you as the next best thing! Yes you have become the nice person! It is great to be a nice person but not so great when you realize you were just a replacement for that persons ex that they were originally mourning for in the first place. Suddenly you are told that dreaded line….I just want to be friends…..
How do you know you might be in the comfort zone? He or she brings up the ex a lot around you and that is all they can talk about. They will only be able to focus on how screwed over they were or worse they want you to be the person that left them. It might not be an ex though it could be just life in general. People will seek comfort over the pettiest things instead of dealing with the emotions themselves.
The other downside to meeting people around alcohol, drinking! You might go on a few dates and move forward in the relationship only to find out that they love drinking…..a little too much. Sure you can drink with them all you want and you will feel like everything is great. Wait until the real problems surface. Can they deal with them without drinking? If you are at a club to attract someone you are asking to meet an alcoholic.
So where can you meet happy healthy people? Well what do you like to do? Surround yourself with activities that you really enjoy. This is the slow way to meet someone but it could be your best shot to not meeting someone who is fake or suffering from addiction. The benefit? You are already doing the same thing that both of you enjoy so you have an interest to bond over. You could go to a gym to meet someone but then again if you’re looking for a relationship at a gym you may come across as that creepy person checking everyone out. Most people at the gym are focused on one thing and one thing only working out.
I recommend using social media websites such as http://www.meetup.com to find a group of others with similar interests! Always make sure it is in a public setting and in a medium to large-sized group. Make sure the group has been running for a while. They really do have something for everyone.
If you cannot find anything to do using social media then volunteer somewhere! Do you love animals? Your local humane society needs your help. Do you love reading? The library might be looking for volunteers. You could always go down to the food bank as well.
Getting yourself out and active is key to meeting someone. Going to the obvious places are only going to give you the obvious results. By obvious I mean the places the commercials tell you to go to have a good time. You do not want obvious results if you are reading this. What you want is a long term relationship with stability someone to share life with and grow with!